Smashed Butterflies

If you read my blog it will become clear that somewhere along the way butterflies became symbolic of my journey. If I continue to carry that symbolism through, the signs may not be so good. I took the boys for a bike ride a few days ago which has become part of our daily routine. On this particular trip Nate hit a butterfly with his bike which was followed the next lap around the parking lot by him getting off of his bike and stomping on it.

The past few weeks have been filled with firsts and I have to say I have been extremely proud of my sons as they have encountered the various environments into which they have been thrust. We went to the festival of the horse parade. They loved raking in the candy. We also had a family birthday party where they met all of the relatives. They did extremely well in a crowd of so many people that were paying them a great deal of attention. We went to church on Sunday for the first time. Mulatu is still a bit overwhelmed in crowd situations but they both did extremely well. They is nothing that makes me happier than to look over and see Nate clapping during the worship service or seeing them both bow their heads during the prayer. Yesterday we went to the theatre to see Cars 2. We had the theater all to ourselves. Nate fell asleep half way through and Mulatu kept wanting me to turn on the lights. All in all I would call it a success.

They have settled into family life well. They willingly help me dry dishes, sweep, do the laundry and clean off the table. However, that isn’t to say the days go by without incident. There is still a lot of jockeying for position as far as their relationship with one another goes. There have also been the occasional breakdowns that last for an hour or so when they aren’t getting their way. I’m still learning what that means for me as a mom and how best to deal with it. One of the breakdowns occurred in the store Kid to Kid where Mulatu had spotted a Scooby soccer jacket that was way too big for him. I decided that although it wouldn’t fit Mulatu it would be just fine for Nate. Big mistake on my part – I tried to entice Mulatu with all sorts of things after that fact but it was all over. It made me think about how many times I pursue something that isn’t the best for me and God tries to turn my attention away from that to something better but all I do is fight and throw a big fit. These encounters with my children allow me to view my relationship with God in a new way and understand more of what it means to be His child. I’m also learning what this whole motherhood thing means as far as my other relationships go. It goes without saying that having children changes your entire world but knowing that in your head and experiencing it are two completely different things.

Tomorrow we go to the dentist and I for one am not looking forward to it. Although I know the dead butterfly on the pavement is not symbolic of my motherhood, I can’t help but laugh. And that is definitely one thing that is never in short supply these days – a good laugh.