Free to Fail

My entire life I have had an intense fear of failure. I just don’t like it. This has in some cases pushed me to succeed and in others has caused me to hold myself back from even trying. In this parenting gig I’m finding that feelings of failure occur almost on a daily basis. It only takes one moment of aggravation for me to be able to reflect back and realize that I could have reacted better or handled things differently. As Easter approached there were several days where I was overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a mom that are still somewhat new to me. As I took time to reflect on Jesus’ sacrifice and the cross there was a peace that I found in the realization that because of Jesus I am free to fail. In this current stage of life, this peace was something that my soul desperately needed to find.

In five days my boys will have been home 8 months. I still can’t believe how the time has flown. They are both starting to read and their vocabulary continues to grow. They are both little sponges and they observe and absorb everything this world has to offer. Some of the newer phrases they have picked up from various movies, “That’s not cool, man” and “Knock it off”. They still love their video games and playing basketball. I think my next purchase it going to have to be a real basketball goal. They are growing so much the one we have is just too easy for them. There have been several warm days this spring which has led to opportunities for afternoons full of slip n slide and water balloon fun which they absolutely love.

We took a trip to Gatlinburg last week which was our first family vacation. I rented a cabin with an indoor pool and the boys and I went swimming every morning and every evening. It was a pretty chilly week there and the indoor water tempature was still quite chilly – my only saving grace was that we also had a hot tub which Mulatu loved and Nate wanted nothing to do with. By the end of the trip they were both swimming a bit by themselves and I’m confident with a bit more practice they will be swimming like champs.

We also got a chance to spend a couple days at Dollywood. One of the reasons I wanted to go is they were having a Festival of Nations where several different groups from around the world were there doing various performances. We got to watch a vocal group from Zambia, musical group from Ecuador, and dancers from Argentina. However, my favorite part of the groups was watching my boys crack up at Paper World a comedy group from the Ukraine. The boys even got to take their picture beside the Ethiopian flag they had on display. The kids loved all of the rides, the scrambler was a favorite but we rode the kiddie roller coaster, the train, the swings, the flying elephants, a carousal, the old cars, couple water rides and several more. The boys did such a great job on the trip. From all the meals to the drive through the mountains and everything in between. We got home and I was ready to go all over again.

With my new perspective and refreshing vacation, I’m ready to take this mom role head on and I’m looking forward to a wonderful summer with my boys.