It is the last day of the month and I have yet to hear anything from Ethiopia in regards to a court date. I know that God has things to teach me in this time of waiting and I have tried to take advantage of this time by getting things ready but it is so hard. Now that I have seen their faces and know their names each day that goes by is another one that I am not spending with my precious sons. This morning I read a blog entry of a dear friend that is going through cancer treatments in which she said “I don’t want to miss whatever God has for me along the way, so I don’t want to jump ahead or get this frustrated feeling of wanting to rush through it. So I will slow down and enjoy the ride.” We are on totally different rides but in much the same way I want to rush through this portion of my ride. I hope I can learn from my friend’s wisdom. This month has been a long one full of days with gray clouds literally and figuratively. I heard a song the other day called Scenes by Charlie Hall that spoke volumes to me. To walk with God always and to be in constant communion with Him is the only way I want to live. It is my hope that even in times when gray clouds come I lift my mind to Him.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Scenes
Ice and sleet, and frost and cold
Each storm cloud and thunderbolt
Lifts my mind to You
Every work and every power
Every second of every hour
Fall of dew in sweet rain showers
Lifts my mind to You
The summer wind, fire and heat
Autumn leaves and blooms of spring
Ocean waves and mountain streams
Lifts my mind to You
I see You in every scene
I bet You are thinking about me
I have such a short memory
So You keep reminding me of You
As I lay me down to sleep
As I walk on city streets
As I laugh with friends and feast
It lifts my mind to You
As my children play and run
In the news with wars and guns
In the church where songs are sung
It lifts my mind to You
Deep inside the beggar's eyes
As for sweet love I fight
On the radio at night
It lifts my mind to You
I see You in every scene
I bet You are thinking about me
I have such a short memory
So You keep reminding me of You
Painting pictures of Your love
You lift my mind up
Reminding me of You
My heart comes alive
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Walk on the Water
Part of the journey of adoption for me is obviously times like the current one where I am just waiting. I’m waiting for a court date so that I can start making travel plans and get my mind in gear for the first trip when I will meet my sons. It has been a goal of mine to make sure that I’m listening for what God wants to teach me during this time of waiting. I am extremely excited about the next couple months and all that they entail but to be honest there is a little part of me that is anxious and scared. I’m sure with any new parent there are seeds of doubt. Can I really do this? Will I be a good mom to these two little boys? The questions in my head continue in a spiral that can get very detailed into what my response will be in certain situations. It is easy to feel overwhelmed and my sons aren’t even home yet! God has been doing a lot in me throughout the past week or so in regards to the issue of doubting myself. As part of the message on Sunday, we watched the Nooma video – ‘Dust’. In it Rob Bell describes what a true disciple is, what it takes to truly follow Jesus. The part of the video that continues to stick out in my head is the story of Peter walking on the water. He points out that Peter didn’t begin to sink because he lost faith in Jesus but he began to sink because he lost faith in himself. Jesus wouldn’t have called Peter out of the boat if he did not believe that Peter could walk on water. Likewise, Jesus wouldn’t have called me down this path of parenthood through adoption if I couldn’t do it. This morning I woke up to the song, “Walk on the Water” by Brit Nicole – “So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose? Your insecurities, they try to hold to you, but you know you’re made for more, so don’t be afraid to move. Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too.” It was just another reminder that I’m not in this alone and God would not have called me to get out of the boat and walk on the water unless I could.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Taking One for the Team
Today was shot day. Dad, mom and I all went together to UK's office of preventative medicine to get the necessary shots for traveling to Ethiopia. We got Polio and Hepatitis A. Mom opted for a typhoid shot while Dad and I chose the oral pill option since it lasts longer. We also need a yellow fever shot but they were out of the vaccine so we will have to wait until they get in a shipment.
This past week has been a wonderful time of vacation and Christmas celebrations. Mulate and Natinael even received a few presents at the family gathering at Grandma's. I have already been preparing for next years Christmas by stocking up on wrapping paper that I'm sure I'll put to good use. I also needed to get some stockings and a stocking holder that I was able to pick up at some good after Christmas sales.
It is an exciting time and I'm looking forward to having an actual date so I can start preparations for the trip.
This past week has been a wonderful time of vacation and Christmas celebrations. Mulate and Natinael even received a few presents at the family gathering at Grandma's. I have already been preparing for next years Christmas by stocking up on wrapping paper that I'm sure I'll put to good use. I also needed to get some stockings and a stocking holder that I was able to pick up at some good after Christmas sales.
It is an exciting time and I'm looking forward to having an actual date so I can start preparations for the trip.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Christmas I Never Forgot
The past two weeks at church we have been contemplating this being a Christmas we will never forget; not because of a gift we receive or give or because of time spent with family and friends but because we have encountered God in a new way and our relationship with Him has grown. When I began this adoption journey in May I knew it was going to stretch my faith. I knew that I was venturing out in faith unsure of the path ahead and I knew I would never be the same. This has all proven to be true but there are still times I need a healthy reminder that God is truly in control. This past Friday I received some detailed information about travel arrangements while in Ethiopia including a break down of all the various costs involved. As I went to bed that night I was crunching numbers and trying to figure out how I'm going to afford this last part of the journey. At church on Sunday, Brian talked about the journey of faith that the wisemen took to visit Jesus. One of the points within this was that God's kingdom doesn't work in a culture where 2+2 = 4 or where facts have to be proven with the scientific method. I just sat there and smiled because that is exactly the reminder that I needed to remember that God has this in His hands and I do not need to worry about the money.
It has been an emotional few weeks since I've seen the faces of my sons. I've been excited to share their pictures with all my family and friends. I've been making preparations for their arrival like buying beds and paint for their room. My mind has been constantly thinking about various details of the journey that will bring them home and the months that will follow as they transition to life in America. I'm still waiting for my court date and as soon as I have it I will be making travel arrangements for my first trip to Addis Ababa. Until then I will keep listening to the following song 'When Love Takes You In' by Steven Curtis Chapman and dreaming about the day that we are all together as a family.
I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When loves takes you in
And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in
It has been an emotional few weeks since I've seen the faces of my sons. I've been excited to share their pictures with all my family and friends. I've been making preparations for their arrival like buying beds and paint for their room. My mind has been constantly thinking about various details of the journey that will bring them home and the months that will follow as they transition to life in America. I'm still waiting for my court date and as soon as I have it I will be making travel arrangements for my first trip to Addis Ababa. Until then I will keep listening to the following song 'When Love Takes You In' by Steven Curtis Chapman and dreaming about the day that we are all together as a family.
I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When loves takes you in
And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Picture Day
December 1 -
When I first decided to adopt back in May I purchased a frame that read 'My Boys' and placed it by my bed as a visual reminder to pray for them. Tonight for the first time as I went to sleep instead of an empty frame I had two beautiful faces staring back at me. I received a phone call today from my placing agency in Texas. When I saw that it was them calling I fully anticipated that she would tell me there was a missing piece of paperwork or something else that they needed. Instead she began with "I have some very exciting news" and after a pause and me asking, "And that would be..." she told me she had a referral for me that she would email right away. I wish that I could articulate in words the emotions that I've had since that moment but I can't.
My two little boys are 4 and 5 years old and I truly believe they are the sons God has called me to love as my own. This truly is a day that will change the rest of my life. For those of you wondering what is next...I will accept the referral. I have two weeks to do so but will hopefully send out the paperwork before this weekend. Because the 5 year old is above the age range that I was originally approved for there will be a bit of paperwork involved to update my information. Once the referral has been accepted, it will take approx. 6-8 weeks for a court date. I should know that date in three weeks or so. Rough estimate would put this at the end of January. I will travel to Ethiopia for 5 days for the court date. I will then come back to the states and return a month or two later to bring my sons home.
Thank you all for continuing to be a part of this journey with me. Please continue to pray for our family.
When I first decided to adopt back in May I purchased a frame that read 'My Boys' and placed it by my bed as a visual reminder to pray for them. Tonight for the first time as I went to sleep instead of an empty frame I had two beautiful faces staring back at me. I received a phone call today from my placing agency in Texas. When I saw that it was them calling I fully anticipated that she would tell me there was a missing piece of paperwork or something else that they needed. Instead she began with "I have some very exciting news" and after a pause and me asking, "And that would be..." she told me she had a referral for me that she would email right away. I wish that I could articulate in words the emotions that I've had since that moment but I can't.
My two little boys are 4 and 5 years old and I truly believe they are the sons God has called me to love as my own. This truly is a day that will change the rest of my life. For those of you wondering what is next...I will accept the referral. I have two weeks to do so but will hopefully send out the paperwork before this weekend. Because the 5 year old is above the age range that I was originally approved for there will be a bit of paperwork involved to update my information. Once the referral has been accepted, it will take approx. 6-8 weeks for a court date. I should know that date in three weeks or so. Rough estimate would put this at the end of January. I will travel to Ethiopia for 5 days for the court date. I will then come back to the states and return a month or two later to bring my sons home.
Thank you all for continuing to be a part of this journey with me. Please continue to pray for our family.
Thanksgiving Prayer
November 25 -
God as today is Thanksgiving I take time this morning to be thankful. Father, I'm thankful for the lives of my two sons whom I will soon meet and the path that you have prepared to lead me to them. I am thankful for the supportive family and friends that you have surrounded me with as I embark on this journey of faith. God, I thank you that you provide a purpose and a plan for each of us. God, I am thankful for your son who came to earth so that I could have a hope and a future. I thank you that the viel was torn and I can come before you with requests big and small and can consider you my best friend. Father, I am thankful for the new body of believers that you have blessed me with and for the difference that they are making in my life. I am thankful for my health and the health of my family. Father, for all the material blessings in my life I am thankful and I pray that I lay down all of these things at your feet to be used for your glory. Thank you for blessing me with a job where I can feel productive and people with which I enjoy working. My life is in your hands and I'm looking forward to the future as I lay myself before you. Help me to take each moment as a gift from you and as a moment in which you can teach me to be more like your Son.
God as today is Thanksgiving I take time this morning to be thankful. Father, I'm thankful for the lives of my two sons whom I will soon meet and the path that you have prepared to lead me to them. I am thankful for the supportive family and friends that you have surrounded me with as I embark on this journey of faith. God, I thank you that you provide a purpose and a plan for each of us. God, I am thankful for your son who came to earth so that I could have a hope and a future. I thank you that the viel was torn and I can come before you with requests big and small and can consider you my best friend. Father, I am thankful for the new body of believers that you have blessed me with and for the difference that they are making in my life. I am thankful for my health and the health of my family. Father, for all the material blessings in my life I am thankful and I pray that I lay down all of these things at your feet to be used for your glory. Thank you for blessing me with a job where I can feel productive and people with which I enjoy working. My life is in your hands and I'm looking forward to the future as I lay myself before you. Help me to take each moment as a gift from you and as a moment in which you can teach me to be more like your Son.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Radical or Biblical?
I have been reading the book by David Platt - Radical: Taking back your faith from the American dream for the past couple weeks. The book club at church is meeting next week to discuss it and I'm looking forward to hearing what others have to say about it. Platt brings up several points about the sin of materialism that is accepted in the American church as the norm and the centrality of missions in the church instead of simply an optional program intended for a certain type of person.
The chapter I was reading last night highlighted the statistics regarding the poor and needy in the world saying numbers on a page can seem cold and distant. Platt has adopted previously and is in the process of adopting again. He states, "We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes."
The chapter I was reading last night highlighted the statistics regarding the poor and needy in the world saying numbers on a page can seem cold and distant. Platt has adopted previously and is in the process of adopting again. He states, "We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes."
Although I do not know their names and I haven't seen their faces, as I lay in bed last night my heart ached for my children. For the first time I shed tears as I thought about their lives on the other side of the world. I don't know if they are getting enough to eat or if they have a safe place to lay their head. I don't know know if there is someone to pick them up when they fall down or to help dry their tears. As much as I trust God and His timing that doesn't ease the increasing desire I have for my boys to be home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
