Mario Etiquette

I have mentioned my sons love for Wii before. Their new favorite game is Super Mario Brothers. Today I found myself trying to explain to them some Mario etiquette. They were playing the third world which is full of snow and penguins which they found extremely exciting. They let out the items that make you transform and got a mushroom and a penguin. Nate took both of the items which as you can imagine did not make Mulatu happy. This happened a couple more times to which Mulatu said everytime, "Nate took both of them, I got nothing."

This got me thinking of how these lessons in how to play the game of Mario can translate into how some people approach life. You can play Mario for yourself. You can run through the stage leaving the other people behind and taking all the good 'items' for yourself or you can choose to work together, occasionally carrying others on your back and helping the others get to the end which in some cases requires sacrificing items that you might have wanted for yourself. I have to admit that I've realized as I've played Mario with my kids that I can be a very selfish Mario player. Likewise my kids have helped shine a light on the ways I live selfishly in real life and I am trying everyday to make myself a better person and a better mom.

Tomorrow my boys will have been home 6 months. It has been an incredible journey of some really high moments and some not so high moments. I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about my kids. It is amazing to look back and see how far they have come. This past week we had another immunization at the doctor and they both popped in there, took care of business and left. No tears, no bad attitudes. I was so proud of them both. Sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out, sometimes I want to sleep a little longer than they will allow, sometimes I don't know how to get through to them, but most days they just make me laugh and I can't stop smiling about the fact that I get to be their mom.

Thankfulness

I am reminded daily of how truly thankful I am for the two beautiful blessings God has entrusted to me. Mulatu is on a kick where he is pretty vocal about what he is thankful for. Most of the time it is pretty simple things that no one would think to stop and say thank you for. I mean really when was the last time you were thankful for your socks. But my son is and he tells me about it. Today after church as I was taking off his name tag he says, "Thank You Mama for church going." I just love that. There are so many lessons that my kids can teach me and this is certainly one of them. Sometimes (especially now that I have kids) I find that I struggle to get motivated to get to church on Sunday mornings but today Mulatu reminded me just how important it is and how thankful I should be that I have somewhere to worship and I can do so in freedom.

Kids change everything. You can predict some changes and some have taken me by surprise. Instead of watching adult movies I find myself watching Disney movies over and over. I even found myself watching Barney today...what? There was once a time in life when I could have told you everything about UK's schedule. I was lucky to know they were playing today but had no clue who or at what time. I love storms and get pretty excited about weather in general. Tornado warnings in the past have sounded and I've rolled over and gone back to sleep. If it was during the day I would have been found looking out the window to see what I could see. However, this past Friday I was instead in the basement of my aunt's house waiting with my sons for the storm to blow over.

A week from now my sons will have been home for 6 months! That seems crazy to me. We had our 6 month home study and it went wonderfully. The boys played a game of candy land with our social worker and her intern and we had very easy and natural conversations. We followed that with our first trip to Monkey Joe's were they had a blast jumping and sliding to their hearts content. Our trip to Perfect North was lots of fun. They loved the snow. We went down the tubing lanes together the first time but their second time down they wanted to go solo. They did fine with that minus the moment when they abandoned their tube at the end of the lane and started running. :) They actually lasted two and a half hours which was a lot longer than I expected. We got in the car and Mulatu says, "Tomorrow, we can go skiing?"

This is not to say everything is all fun and games. Nate does not like shots at all so the last time we went to get one, mom had practiced with him about how he was going to hold super still so it wouldn't hurt. They had also decided that he could get it in his leg. Unfortunately, the shot was a tb test which has to be in the forearm. He completely lost in and it took mom and I both to hold him down. They have another shot coming up this week. These are the moments I hate but I am grateful that they can get medical care when they need it.

I am so thankful.

I am your son

My boys and I watched the movie Kung Fu Panda 2 the other day and since then the phrase 'I am your son' has been going through my mind. In the movie the panda, Po, discovers that he has been adopted and goes on a quest to discover who he really is. At the end of the movie, he comes back to have a conversation with his dad - "I found out who I am, I am your son." Po had come to the conclusion that regardless of his past and the ways he could have chosen to define himself, there was only one definition that mattered. In the same way, in life when we come to the realization that we are God's son (or daughter), we quickly understand that nothing else really matters. That one fact can change everything if we let it. I pray that my sons are able to grow up with the understanding that not only are they my sons but more importantly they are God's sons.

Lovin' Life

With four and a half months comes the opportunity to learn a lot. Each and every day the boys seem to pick up on more language and the world in which they now live. Some of the favorite sayings these days are "Come On" (as in please do what I want), "What?" and "Me's Turn". They also throw "ing" on random words which tends to crack me up. Some of my favorite conversations this week include one I had with Mulatu - He had caused an African Mask to fall down and break. He said: "I'm Sorry Mama" Me: "It's Okay" Him: "Thank You" Me: "For What" Him: "It's Okay". In a very pure way my son was thankful for forgiveness. It was a sweet moment and one that made me reflect on my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Another conversation occurred with Nate. I had out his Visa because I had to make copies for my taxes. In his visa and passport pictures he looks very unhappy so I was asking him if he was angry or scared. He looked up into my eyes and said "I'm Happy." It was as though how he felt in those pictures was in the past and right now all he knew was he was happy. It is moments like that when I want to wrap my arms around my kids and never let them go.

I have sent off my taxes and I'm grateful for a government that at this point in time is very supportive of adoption in a monetary way. On the other hand, it has been my experience that insurance is not as kind. I continue to get medical bills for my kids for various appointments we have had. We have been so blessed that both of my boys have been healthy since they have come home. I am also grateful that were they to get sick they would have medical resources at their disposal but if I'm honest I'm sick and tired of getting bills.

The next few months have several fun things in store. We have our sixth month follow up homestudy in a week and a half (I can't believe that it is time for that already). After that I am planning on taking them to Monkey Joe's so we can celebrate. Since we have had squat snow this winter, we are planning a trip to Perfect North to go tubing. In April, I've rented a cabin in Gatlinburg with an indoor pool so we can go swimming. They have been wanting to go on a roller coaster every since reading the book 'Go Dog Go' so we will head to Dollywood on that trip as well. I'm looking forward to making all of these fun memories and so many more. In between we have some more shots and another trip to the dentist. All in all I'm loving life as a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.

A lot changes in a year...

It has been a while since I updated the blog and numerous things have happened since. The major event would have to be Christmas and all that that entailed. There is something special about seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child. It was a weekend filled with family and friends and joy filled expressions by two special boys that were excited about each and every gift that they unwrapped. However, the excitement quickly faded and they were back to wanting to play Donkey Kong as soon as the last gift was unwrapped. Prior to Christmas we took in a live nativity and hopefully we talked about Jesus enough that they had some understanding of why we celebrated. We have had a few small snowfalls that has made them extremely excited. They want a big snow where they can have a good snowball fight and go sledding. I still have hope that they will get their wish before the end of winter.

Right before Christmas I was able to go to the social security office and get everything in place for their SSN. I got their cards in the mail a few days after Christmas which enabled me to get savings accounts set up for them - another couple things off of the long list of things to do. A couple days before Christmas we took a trip to the eye doctor. They both have perfect vision and the doctor had zero concerns. As someone that hates appointments, I was very much looking forward to January. It is an appointment free month for us which is the first since we've gotten home.

School is going really well. They have settled into a very solid routine and I'm amazed at how far their vocabulary and other skills have come. Although they are making tremendous progress in so many areas they still have moments where the slightest thing will set them off and we will have an hour of hysteria. Typically if one is having a bad moment the other suddenly becomes an angel. It seems that these moments come in phases and I try to be as understanding as possible knowing that this is all part of the adjustment process. That doesn't mean that it is any easier.

As we rang in 2012, all three of us were sound asleep but as I reflected over the past year I realized just how much my life has changed. I feel so blessed that God called me to be the mother of these two beautiful boys and I'm excited about what the coming year has in store.

What If God Took Back His Gift

The home study could not have gone better and even the trip to the doctor to get the second round of shots wasn't too bad. The boys are growing and learning so much with each day that passes. They are thoroughly enjoying the Christmas season - complete with trips to the movies to see Arthur Christmas and going to hear various Christmas concerts. I want them to have a well rounded view of the season so I've tried to expose them to different things. We are going tomorrow night with some friends to see the lights at the horse park. Although we are enjoying all the various elements of Christmas, it is very important to me that they understand why we are celebrating. I have made it a point to emphasize Jesus' birth. They have now taken up to thanking God for Jesus, Mary and Joseph during their prayers before they eat and before bed. I don't know that there is a sweeter sound than hearing the prayers of your children.

Even though things have been going extremely well, there are still moments where I find myself in the midst of a control battle and wondering why I am there. One such moment occurred yesterday. I am very conscious of the attitudes my children project and want them to always be thankful and respectful. Mulatu was having a moment where the thankfulness for a gift he received was clearly not his priority. I found myself threatening to take it away if his attitude didn't change. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. Thankfully I didn't have to follow through on the threat because his behavior changed but it made me do a lot of self reflection.

What if God was the kind of parent that I was at that moment? What if when His children didn't show thankfulness for the gifts that they had been given He decided to take them back? What if He did that with the greatest gift of all? What if when His children turned their back on Him and decided to walk their own way, He took Jesus back? Thankfully, God is not that kind of parent. I'm so grateful that He is the perfect example of grace and love. I'm also grateful that I get second chances at this parenting gig. Just as my boys are learning so much, I'm also learning a lot about myself. Hopefully the things that I'm learning will translate into fewer and fewer moments like the one above.

Parasite Free

For those of you unfamiliar with the adoption world, crap collection is part of the norm. You collect three samples 48 hours between each and send them off for analysis. Depending on the results you then start a round of meds for treatment and then repeat to make sure everything cleared up the way it should have. The first round, Nate had a common parasite and Mulatu had four parasites that from what the doctor said meant he had been some pretty nasty stuff. Well I am happy to report that after round 2, we are now parasite free.

The boys have settled into a routine and school is going really well. They are learning so much and it truly is the ideal environment for them as they adjust. Their new favorite thing is playing Wii. They are like their mom in that way I guess. Their favorite game right now is Donkey Kong and every time they jump in the game they physically jump. They are sweating by the time they are done playing. Seeing as Wii is such a motivating factor I have implemented a strike system in which they cannot play Wii if they get three strikes. They understand there are consequences for their actions and this has cut down on the direct defiance issues.

They have ventured out into a few new foods. Mulatu actually ate spaghetti with meat sauce on it this week. They still prefer their eggs and bacon for lunch every day. We spent time doing Operation Christmas Child boxes that the boys helped pack. We got a bookmark from church with prayer points every day. During our nightly prayer time I try to remember to use the bookmark and you better believe if I forget they remind me. It was exciting decorating for Christmas and having the clumps of ornaments on my tree that comes when kids help hang the ornaments. Today we start our advent calendar – I’ve been excited about this for a while.

Tomorrow is our first home study which means I will be cleaning up the house a bit tonight but I really have no concerns. Monday is another shot day which hopefully will be as uneventful as the last one. Monday afternoon I am headed to court to have their names legally changed. I received their Citizenship Certificates in the mail a few weeks ago. Currently they legally have my first name as their middle name so I want to get that changed before I get social security numbers for them.

I am back at work full time now. It was a pretty smooth transition. I look forward to five o'clock so I can see their faces and hear about their day. I love those boys more and more each day and I'm pretty sure that is the way it should be.