Be The Tree God Made You To Be

The laughs and the smiles continue in our household as we experience daily life together. This past weekend was a series of firsts for the boys, beginning on Saturday with a ride in my friend's convertible followed by a Sunday filled with fishing and paddle boating with some friends. My first attempt to teach them to cast ended with a hook in my arm. Despite a rough start, it was a great day of fishing and they caught their first fish and enjoyed throwing them back in. We loved being able to make such great memories with such great friends! Today I signed them up to play soccer in the fall. Since they are close in age they will be able to play on the same team which will make it nice for practices and game times. The other major development this summer is that my parent's are putting an above ground pool that will be installed this week. We spent most of yesterday hauling 5 tons of sand into the backyard to prepare for this moment. Mulatu tells us that his stomach feels funny because he is so excited.

We celebrated Mulatu's sixth birthday with a pool party at grandma grandma's house complete with a fantastic spiderman cake made by my cousin. This was followed by a trip to the Cincinnati zoo on his actual birthday. His first choice was Chuck E Cheese but after discovering that all they had to eat was pizza he quickly changed his mind. 

We have had some pretty in depth conversations lately and I love being able to freely communicate with one another without any language barrier. I have started the process of readopting them. Although this is not required for Ethiopia adoptions, it is highly recommended. Children of all Nations has a partner law firm that they work with that will do this for me so my boys will end up with a Texas birth certificate. So far the paperwork has been minimal. Meanwhile I am still waiting on the wonderful Internal Revenue Service to get their ducks in a row in regards to my tax return. I will feel a lot better when this has been resolved.

One of the things that I have realized over the past few months is that as life has gotten busy it has been easier for me push spending time with God down on my list of priorities. However, in order to be the best mom I can be to my children I have to make sure that my relationship with God is number one. It has been my prayer to have that passion renewed within me and He has answered that prayer. I can tell that as I've spent more time in prayer and in His word that it is paying off in other ways as well. One of my favorite songs recently is Like an Avalanche:

And I find myself here on my knees again
Caught up in grace like an avalanche
Nothing compares to this love
Burning in my heart

Take my life
Take all that I am
With all that I am I will love You
Take my heart
Take all that I have
Jesus how I adore You

The other night before bed we were reading a new story called 'The Oak Inside the Acorn' by Max Lucado (I would highly recommend it for everyone). My favorite line was when the acorn was talking to the mama oak and she told him, "Be the tree God made you to be." One of the great things about this world is the diversity within each person. Although my path may have not been the conventional one, I believe these two boys that I have the honor of raising are the direct result of me listening to God's call on my life and being the tree He made me to be.

Blessed

Blessed. That is the word that I would use to sum up my emotions on this mother’s day. I had numerous people send me messages on facebook, send texts and call me on the phone all wishing me a happy mother’s day. I am thankful for each of these people in my life because not only did they wish me happy mother’s day but they have taken time to pour love into my family throughout the past several months. I took time to reflect last night about the journey that led me to this point in my life; about the fact that if I had altered just one of numerous decisions I would not be sitting here with these two beautiful boys in my life. I am completely humbled and grateful to God for his plan for me because it truly is better than anything I could have planned for myself. Yesterday Mulatu told me that I did not come get him soon enough from Africa. He asked me if the plane went slow. I told him that the plane and I came as fast as we could. I love my sons. I love their smiles and their laughs. I love the way they make me laugh. I love watching them with my parents. Yesterday was a pretty laid back mother’s day. We went home after church. Ate a typical meal of ramon noodles and lentil soup and just hung out together. We spent the afternoon at mom and dad’s house. I found myself looking around, I was sitting on the couch next to dad, Mulatu had fallen asleep at the end of the couch next to me, mom and Nate were laying together on the loveseat watching TV and I just thought about how beautiful our family was and how it was simply perfect. I am attending a bible study on Sunday nights so for the past two weeks Sundays have become a night at grandmas. There had a been a discussion earlier in the day as we were packing to go to grandma’s that went something like this. Me: You can only take one animal with you to Grandma’s. (As I look over and Nate has four in his arms) Nate: The little ones will get scared if they are left here alone. Mulatu: My animals will take care of your animals Nate it is ok. I hadn’t thought anymore about this but when I went in their room last night after I got home Mulatu had set up all his animals around Nate’s bed to watch over his animals. I smiled. Little moments like this that are simply priceless. On a side note, today is exactly one year from the time I boarded the plane that would lead me to Ethiopia to meet my boys. What a year it has been. Yes, I am indeed blessed.

Free to Fail

My entire life I have had an intense fear of failure. I just don’t like it. This has in some cases pushed me to succeed and in others has caused me to hold myself back from even trying. In this parenting gig I’m finding that feelings of failure occur almost on a daily basis. It only takes one moment of aggravation for me to be able to reflect back and realize that I could have reacted better or handled things differently. As Easter approached there were several days where I was overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a mom that are still somewhat new to me. As I took time to reflect on Jesus’ sacrifice and the cross there was a peace that I found in the realization that because of Jesus I am free to fail. In this current stage of life, this peace was something that my soul desperately needed to find.

In five days my boys will have been home 8 months. I still can’t believe how the time has flown. They are both starting to read and their vocabulary continues to grow. They are both little sponges and they observe and absorb everything this world has to offer. Some of the newer phrases they have picked up from various movies, “That’s not cool, man” and “Knock it off”. They still love their video games and playing basketball. I think my next purchase it going to have to be a real basketball goal. They are growing so much the one we have is just too easy for them. There have been several warm days this spring which has led to opportunities for afternoons full of slip n slide and water balloon fun which they absolutely love.

We took a trip to Gatlinburg last week which was our first family vacation. I rented a cabin with an indoor pool and the boys and I went swimming every morning and every evening. It was a pretty chilly week there and the indoor water tempature was still quite chilly – my only saving grace was that we also had a hot tub which Mulatu loved and Nate wanted nothing to do with. By the end of the trip they were both swimming a bit by themselves and I’m confident with a bit more practice they will be swimming like champs.

We also got a chance to spend a couple days at Dollywood. One of the reasons I wanted to go is they were having a Festival of Nations where several different groups from around the world were there doing various performances. We got to watch a vocal group from Zambia, musical group from Ecuador, and dancers from Argentina. However, my favorite part of the groups was watching my boys crack up at Paper World a comedy group from the Ukraine. The boys even got to take their picture beside the Ethiopian flag they had on display. The kids loved all of the rides, the scrambler was a favorite but we rode the kiddie roller coaster, the train, the swings, the flying elephants, a carousal, the old cars, couple water rides and several more. The boys did such a great job on the trip. From all the meals to the drive through the mountains and everything in between. We got home and I was ready to go all over again.

With my new perspective and refreshing vacation, I’m ready to take this mom role head on and I’m looking forward to a wonderful summer with my boys. 

Mario Etiquette

I have mentioned my sons love for Wii before. Their new favorite game is Super Mario Brothers. Today I found myself trying to explain to them some Mario etiquette. They were playing the third world which is full of snow and penguins which they found extremely exciting. They let out the items that make you transform and got a mushroom and a penguin. Nate took both of the items which as you can imagine did not make Mulatu happy. This happened a couple more times to which Mulatu said everytime, "Nate took both of them, I got nothing."

This got me thinking of how these lessons in how to play the game of Mario can translate into how some people approach life. You can play Mario for yourself. You can run through the stage leaving the other people behind and taking all the good 'items' for yourself or you can choose to work together, occasionally carrying others on your back and helping the others get to the end which in some cases requires sacrificing items that you might have wanted for yourself. I have to admit that I've realized as I've played Mario with my kids that I can be a very selfish Mario player. Likewise my kids have helped shine a light on the ways I live selfishly in real life and I am trying everyday to make myself a better person and a better mom.

Tomorrow my boys will have been home 6 months. It has been an incredible journey of some really high moments and some not so high moments. I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about my kids. It is amazing to look back and see how far they have come. This past week we had another immunization at the doctor and they both popped in there, took care of business and left. No tears, no bad attitudes. I was so proud of them both. Sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out, sometimes I want to sleep a little longer than they will allow, sometimes I don't know how to get through to them, but most days they just make me laugh and I can't stop smiling about the fact that I get to be their mom.

Thankfulness

I am reminded daily of how truly thankful I am for the two beautiful blessings God has entrusted to me. Mulatu is on a kick where he is pretty vocal about what he is thankful for. Most of the time it is pretty simple things that no one would think to stop and say thank you for. I mean really when was the last time you were thankful for your socks. But my son is and he tells me about it. Today after church as I was taking off his name tag he says, "Thank You Mama for church going." I just love that. There are so many lessons that my kids can teach me and this is certainly one of them. Sometimes (especially now that I have kids) I find that I struggle to get motivated to get to church on Sunday mornings but today Mulatu reminded me just how important it is and how thankful I should be that I have somewhere to worship and I can do so in freedom.

Kids change everything. You can predict some changes and some have taken me by surprise. Instead of watching adult movies I find myself watching Disney movies over and over. I even found myself watching Barney today...what? There was once a time in life when I could have told you everything about UK's schedule. I was lucky to know they were playing today but had no clue who or at what time. I love storms and get pretty excited about weather in general. Tornado warnings in the past have sounded and I've rolled over and gone back to sleep. If it was during the day I would have been found looking out the window to see what I could see. However, this past Friday I was instead in the basement of my aunt's house waiting with my sons for the storm to blow over.

A week from now my sons will have been home for 6 months! That seems crazy to me. We had our 6 month home study and it went wonderfully. The boys played a game of candy land with our social worker and her intern and we had very easy and natural conversations. We followed that with our first trip to Monkey Joe's were they had a blast jumping and sliding to their hearts content. Our trip to Perfect North was lots of fun. They loved the snow. We went down the tubing lanes together the first time but their second time down they wanted to go solo. They did fine with that minus the moment when they abandoned their tube at the end of the lane and started running. :) They actually lasted two and a half hours which was a lot longer than I expected. We got in the car and Mulatu says, "Tomorrow, we can go skiing?"

This is not to say everything is all fun and games. Nate does not like shots at all so the last time we went to get one, mom had practiced with him about how he was going to hold super still so it wouldn't hurt. They had also decided that he could get it in his leg. Unfortunately, the shot was a tb test which has to be in the forearm. He completely lost in and it took mom and I both to hold him down. They have another shot coming up this week. These are the moments I hate but I am grateful that they can get medical care when they need it.

I am so thankful.

I am your son

My boys and I watched the movie Kung Fu Panda 2 the other day and since then the phrase 'I am your son' has been going through my mind. In the movie the panda, Po, discovers that he has been adopted and goes on a quest to discover who he really is. At the end of the movie, he comes back to have a conversation with his dad - "I found out who I am, I am your son." Po had come to the conclusion that regardless of his past and the ways he could have chosen to define himself, there was only one definition that mattered. In the same way, in life when we come to the realization that we are God's son (or daughter), we quickly understand that nothing else really matters. That one fact can change everything if we let it. I pray that my sons are able to grow up with the understanding that not only are they my sons but more importantly they are God's sons.

Lovin' Life

With four and a half months comes the opportunity to learn a lot. Each and every day the boys seem to pick up on more language and the world in which they now live. Some of the favorite sayings these days are "Come On" (as in please do what I want), "What?" and "Me's Turn". They also throw "ing" on random words which tends to crack me up. Some of my favorite conversations this week include one I had with Mulatu - He had caused an African Mask to fall down and break. He said: "I'm Sorry Mama" Me: "It's Okay" Him: "Thank You" Me: "For What" Him: "It's Okay". In a very pure way my son was thankful for forgiveness. It was a sweet moment and one that made me reflect on my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Another conversation occurred with Nate. I had out his Visa because I had to make copies for my taxes. In his visa and passport pictures he looks very unhappy so I was asking him if he was angry or scared. He looked up into my eyes and said "I'm Happy." It was as though how he felt in those pictures was in the past and right now all he knew was he was happy. It is moments like that when I want to wrap my arms around my kids and never let them go.

I have sent off my taxes and I'm grateful for a government that at this point in time is very supportive of adoption in a monetary way. On the other hand, it has been my experience that insurance is not as kind. I continue to get medical bills for my kids for various appointments we have had. We have been so blessed that both of my boys have been healthy since they have come home. I am also grateful that were they to get sick they would have medical resources at their disposal but if I'm honest I'm sick and tired of getting bills.

The next few months have several fun things in store. We have our sixth month follow up homestudy in a week and a half (I can't believe that it is time for that already). After that I am planning on taking them to Monkey Joe's so we can celebrate. Since we have had squat snow this winter, we are planning a trip to Perfect North to go tubing. In April, I've rented a cabin in Gatlinburg with an indoor pool so we can go swimming. They have been wanting to go on a roller coaster every since reading the book 'Go Dog Go' so we will head to Dollywood on that trip as well. I'm looking forward to making all of these fun memories and so many more. In between we have some more shots and another trip to the dentist. All in all I'm loving life as a mom and can't imagine doing anything else.